Is God Just In Our Minds?

It's easy to doubt the existence of God. After all, we can't really see Him, touch Him, talk to Him, hang out with Him, play with Him, etc. the way that we can with our material friends, family and acquaintances. We know that God is not known through any empirical or philosophical process. It's said in the Srimad Bhagavatam that God cannot be understood or grasped by our tiny intellects and minds.

Of course this makes things very difficult in trying to understand, know and come closer to God. All we have at the present moment are our tiny minds and conditioned, material senses. It's like we can't know God until we're completely transcendental, but to become completely transcendental we have to attain pure, unconditional love for God. Not such an easy task.

I was recently listening to a class given by H.H. Srila Gour Govinda Swami Maharaja and he was talking about crying for Krishna. I've heard this before, but at that moment I was thinking, "How can I cry for someone that I don't even know?" The only way I "know" Krishna is thorough the sastras, Vaishnavas and Gurus. From them we hear about Krishna. We also know that hearing about Krishna is as good as associating with Krishna directly. Of course that hearing has to be in the proper consciousness, i.e. - in a state of devotion, humility, surrender and attentiveness.

I feel that in the beginning stages of my Krishna Conscious life I was very sincere and strictly followed the process of sadhana-bhakti. My faith was strong and there was a definite sense of Krishna's presence. After time though I found myself struggling against the same anarthas that were there before coming to the devotional path. Why weren't these desires and attachments going away?

We hear that Krishna will test your sincerity and your devotion. Perhaps it was a simple case that I failed all of the tests. Is it because of failing the tests that I now find myself with a much weaker sense of faith?

The existence of God seems so far away and unreal at times. So how can I cry for someone I've never met and someone I don't really know? The great Vaishnava devotees of the Lord would say that we have to put faith in the sastras. But when you really think about it, how can we know those are even true? What if it's just our faith and belief in them that makes them true? The great Vaishnava devotees of the Lord would say that Krishna exists independently of our belief in Him or not, just as the sun exists whether we accept its existence or not.

The one factor that maintains any sense of faith in me is Srila Prabhupada. When you look at his life, hear his lectures or see him on video you know he's on a platform far beyond this material existence. You know he's experiencing something deep, profound and of a transcendental nature. You know he's living in a reality that is far beyond what we're experiencing with our mundane, material senses. But that reality is locked up within his heart, unknown to us and unseen by our prying eyes.

He's assured us that we can all experience such a level of devotional, spiritual existence and ecstasy. He's assured us that we can all meet Krishna face to face. But at times I feel so far away. When I'm working some mundane retail job and constantly associating with materialistic people who's only interest is sense gratification I find myself wondering how I'll ever get to the stage of raganuga-bhakti. When I find myself watching TV or mundane movies or listening to mundane music I wonder how I'll get to a level of devotion where I cry when I can't see Krishna. It's just so abstract and so theoretical.

I know there is no fault in the process. The fault lies within myself. All of the doubts, all of the lack of faith, all of the attachment to material enjoyment, it's all in my own heart, my own consciousness. I'm making the choices to remain in illusion. And by wallowing in illusion and selfish sense gratification the doubts will grow even stronger. The lack of faith will become stronger. This, as the great Vaishnavas of the Lord tell us, is how maya works.

Sometimes it's hard to believe in the existence of God. Sometimes you look at all of the world religions and think, "These things are true only because people put faith in them". Sometimes the material world that we experience with our senses seems like the only true reality. It's in these moments of doubt or illusion that we really have to step back from it all. We have to go inward into our hearts and our consciousness and find that place that transcends time. It is there where Krishna and the great devotees of the Lord reside. As we come to the point of death this will become so much more clear and understandable. We have to let it all go. The attachments to the body, to family, to friends, to our material possessions, etc. It's all an illusion. And the only way to really know Krishna is to find that place within our hearts.

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare
Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare

In that place this transcendental sound vibration is fully realized as non-different from Krishna. The Holy Name manifests itself fully only in that state of consciousness. This is why devotees can go years and years chanting their rounds but never attain any freedom from their anarthas and never make any advancement on the devotional path. This is why we hear that chanting the Holy Name is not simply a matter of making the sound come out of our mouths. We have to be in the proper state of consciousness to fully realize its potency.

Although my faith is weak and at times my doubts may show, I can never give up the lotus feet of Sri Guru. It is only through the agency and mercy of Sri Guru that we have any hope of attaining the higher stages of devotional service and realization. By the mercy of Sri Guru I can come to understand that God is not merely in my mind or a creation of my imagination. I can come to understand the presence and potency of God in every atom and in every moment. I can begin to open my heart to that love for which my soul is constantly craving.