Visiting the Holy Dhamas

As our trip to Sri Vrindavan Dhama is approaching, I have to stop and reflect on my purpose and my intent in going. It's always been told to me that you can't get to Vrindavan with an airline ticket. It's also been said that you can't see the true Dhama if your heart is impure. If you go with an impure heart, all you will see are pigs, dogs, monkeys, poverty and garbage. In other words, all you will perceive is the external environment.

Vrindavan is in our consciousness and in our hearts. As a neophyte devotee, I find the purifying aspect of visiting the Holy Dhamas to be the most beneficial aspect of making the endeavor to travel. The simple act of traveling is in and of itself an austerity to enter the Dhama. The energy, the time, the money, etc. are all part of the purifying power of traveling to the Dhama.

This is my singular focus in visiting the Dhama: to become purified. We hear this term quite often as devotees, but, just like saying "Haribol", it can become one of those things we don't even think about the deeper implication of what it really means. We're not consciously thinking about it. "Yeah, I need to purify my heart." But what does this purification mean? Ceto-darpana-marjanam. The heart is dirty, just like a mirror covered with dust and dirt and grime. Just as we can't see our self in such a mirror, we can't see our true, spiritual self in our heart when it's contaminated. What are these dirty things covering the heart? Lust, greed, anger, desire for sense gratification, etc. Essentially anything that keeps us from being conscious of Krishna.

I was once talking to my wife about desire and chanting. I was saying that it's so much easier to NOT think of Krishna than TO think of Him. And it seems much easier and natural to do materialistic activities as opposed to devotional activities. I said, "When's the last time you heard someone say, "Ooo, you know what we should totally do?! We should chant like 32 rounds right now! Wouldn't that be awesome?!" No one seems to have that kind of zest, enthusiasm and excitement for devotional activities. Why is that? Because our hearts are full of materialistic desires for sense gratification. We only want the instant gratification. We don't want to work to attain genuine, transcendental happiness and pleasure.

And it comes back to the idea of becoming truly selfless. Selflessness is Vrindavan consciousness, Krishna consciousness. But in our conditioned state it's EXTREMELY hard to appreciate selflessness as genuine pleasure and happiness. In our conditioned state "happiness" means instant gratification of my senses and my desires. It's difficult to change our understanding and perception in this regard.

That's why we MUST cleanse the heart. Srila Prabhupada also gives the example of the person who has jaundice and how they experience the flavor of sweetness and being bitter. In our diseased condition we experience selfless service to Guru, Krishna and the Vaishnavas as being very bitter. But what is the cure for jaundice? To continue eating sweet things. Gradually the sweet flavor begins to come back. So when our hearing and chanting and seva is bitter, we simply have to keep doing it. Gradually we will come to the point where we can actually relish their sweetness.

I know, I know. This sounds like the same old rhetoric and dogma. It's the neophyte parroting what they've heard, but not really understanding or realizing it. I admit that I don't understand it. I know it's what the sastras and the acaryas have told us to do. All I can do is have faith in this process.

We should not enter the Dhama with the intention of enjoyment, neither gross or subtle. The desire for enjoyment should be completely absent. There should be a feeling of surrender and openness to Krishna's presence and desire. We should absorb ourselves in the spiritual, devotionally surcharged atmosphere and environment and take up the Holy Name with great faith and in a deep mood of prayer and desperation for Krishna. This is my goal and purpose for traveling to Sri Vrndavan Dhama.

He Krishna! He Govinda! He Radhe! Please purify my heart and consciousness and allow me to become free of bodily identification and desires for sense gratification! Please free me from the illusion of this material existence and allow me to come closer to You and engage in your eternal, loving service! This kind of desire must be cultivated if we truly want to experience the Holy Dhama and if we truly want to live a peaceful, purposeful, happy and fulfilled life. Visiting the Holy Dhamas is only one part of the devotional process, but if done properly it can be a powerful, transformative experience that has lasting, eternal benefit for our true self.