This is a version of my Gurudeva that I am very familiar
with. When I think of him this is how I most remember his activities and mood.
Sure, there was the preaching with the different outfits and all of that, which
I also remember, but this was like his real, inner mood manifesting. The
kirtans were always so ecstatic when he was there leading. Complete abandonment
of ego and just getting lost in the Holy Name and connecting with other
Vaishnavas in the heart. That’s what his kirtans were. They were pure magic.
In this photo he’s holding that favorite drum of his.
Sometimes he would let someone else hold the drum while he would keep the stick
and continue to play it while singing and dancing. I remember one time being so
fortunate to have this service. For some reason this drum reminds me of Sri
Abhirama Thakur’s “whip” (which is also said to really be a bamboo rod) named
Jaya Mangala. Not that my Gurudeva would hit people with the drum or drumstick,
but just thinking of the similarities of the blessings this object could
bestow.
I’m not saying that drum gave me Krishna-prema, but maybe I
received a little drop of mercy from engaging in my Gurudeva’s personal
service. That tiny drop of mercy has been the only reason I keep coming back to
Krishna Consciousness. I think without that mercy I would have fallen away a
long time ago and totally re-assimilated myself back into the world of maya. I
jumped back into the ocean of maya with gusto back in 2002, but by some
causeless grace, even then, I could never totally forget about Krishna.
Maybe that drum did have some magic in it. Or maybe, more
likely, I was fortunate enough to have served and been in the presence of a
pure Vaishnava such as His Divine Grace Srila Bhakti Tirtha Swami.
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