The Empirical Strikes Back

I haven't written here in forever. The time it seems is focused elsewhere, like on my new daughter, my new job and trying to spend quality time with the wife. The day-t0-day duties, struggles and concerns keep me occupied on a moment-to-moment basis, leaving very little time for journaling, writing and self-reflecting.

One of the benefits of my 2 hours and 20 minutes spent in the car every weekday is that I have time to listen to Srila Prabhupada's lectures and discourses. I've recently been listening to his classes on the Bhagavad Gita.

While listening to these lectures I often have doubts, questions and sometimes profound insights. During one lecture Srila Prabhupada was talking about the sun god and how there are living entities that live on the sun planet, but that their bodies are made of fire. His argument for accepting this as truth was that there are living entities on planet earth that live in the water, some live in the air, some live in the extreme cold, etc. His point being that if there are living entities right here on this earth that can live in so many different conditions and in different bodies, then why can't there be living entities that live in fire with fiery bodies?

I was thinking that philosophically this argument could be torn apart. I don't have a degree in philosophy, so I don't know the fancy terms, but it seems like a weak argument to say that because we have experience of fish living in the water then there must be beings made of fire living on the sun.

Srila Prabhupada was also explaining that there are the different ways to know truth (the pramanas) and that the best way is to accept it from the Vedas (sastras). But I was thinking that sometimes it's hard to accept what's in the sastras, because sometimes it seems so fantastical, mythological, metaphorical, allegorical, illogical, etc. that it can feel uncomfortable to "just accept it as truth".

This is of course our major struggle. We like to deal with pratyaksa or direct perception (the empirical in Western thought). We want to be able to know and experience truth through our mind, intelligence and senses. If we can't see it, taste it, touch it, hear it or smell it through our physical senses, then we have a hard time believing it's real. This is precisely the problem when we come to Krishna Consciousness with our materialistic, Western mindset, because pratyaksa and the process of bhakti-yoga go ill together.

Srila Prabhupada was also saying that we can't rely on our direct perception, because our senses are limited and faulty. We can't see tiny bacteria with our naked eye, but they none-the-less exist. We can't hear certain frequencies, but they exist. There are also four defects of the conditioned living entity: 1) imperfect senses, 2) a tendency to cheat, 3) a tendency to be in illusion and 4) a tendency to make mistakes. This is why Prabhupada was saying that we have to accept the authority of the Vedas or the revealed scriptures, because there's no other way for us to know the truth with all of our faults and imperfections. He said it's like accepting the authority of our mother in telling us who our father is. There's no way for us to know for sure who our father is except through the statement of our mother. In this connection Prabhupada was saying that this is why we have to simply accept the authority of the Guru and the Vedas without questioning or arguing, because there's no other way for us to know the truth.

As I was hearing him say this I felt an uncomfortable apprehension. "Accept this as truth without questioning?!" It sounds very cultish to our materialistic, Western minds. How can we accept something without questioning it? And of course I know that Srila Prabhupada means not questioning in a defiant or challenging way. We can question with humility, but we still have to accept whatever the answer is without doubt. And that can be very difficult for us. At least I know at times it's very difficult for me.

Why is it so difficult to just accept everything in the Vedas as truth? Why do we find ourselves having doubts? Why do we find ourselves being seduced by our senses and our empirical way of thinking? We're so addicted and attached to our senses and to the idea that the only thing that is real is what is being filtered through them. I know in theory that this is a terrible way to go around perceiving the world, but it's the only way I know how to. My senses and what they tell me are all I know for certain as being real. Everything that I hear from Guru and the sastras
is all theoretical to me. It's not directly experiened or perceived.

I sometimes wonder how some devotees can accept so much without having any doubts? Perhaps that is why it is said that simplicity is Vaishnavism, because if you're simple like a child and just accept what Guru and sastra says then your life is simple and sublime. If you're complicated and duplicitous then Krishna Consciousness becomes very difficult and you find yourself full of doubt.

It's hard for us, with our conditioning, to just let go and surrender to the authority of Guru and the revealed scriptures. It's hard for us to let go of our sensory way of looking at and thinking about the world around us. What is it in me that won't all me to fully surrender? What is it in me that won't allow me to have complete faith in the process? Because of my empirical way of looking at things I want to be able to see Krishna and experience Him through my senses. If I can't do that then I have a hard time putting myself completely into the process. And isn't that just human nature to doubt something if we haven't experienced it first hand ourself?

We hear that we shouldn't try to see Krishna, but that we should act in a way that Krishna wants to see us. We also hear that we can see Krishna face-to-face, but that we have to develop the spiritual senses to do so. All in all Krishna just seems very elusive. We have the Deity forms of the Lord in order for our dull senses to perceive Him, but the problem is that I'm still seeing Him with dull senses and I can't fully appeciate His presence in such a form. According to my vision He's just standing there motionless, not saying a word and not playing His flute. Again, just as with the Guru and the sastras I have to accept that the Deity is non-different from Krishna. I'm accepting it through faith, not from direct perception or personal experience.

As you can see this process requires a tremendous amount of faith. It requires a faith that is not shaken by doubts. It requires a simplicity of faith that does not challenge or argue. Such faith is the greatest treasure we can obtain in this world. Some devotees are concerned with attaining Krishna prema, but I'm simply concerned with attaining the beginning stage of shrada or faith.

Sweet Irony Pie

There are various definitions of the word "irony" depending on its usage. For my particular musing this definition is quite apropos:

2a. Incongruity between what might be expected and what actually occurs.

We spend so much time and energy trying to make a permanent situation in a world where we know that death is inevitable. In the face of such a reality we may begin to question the purpose of our material pursuits, such as work, school, family, material enjoyment, etc. After all, if we're just going to die, then what's the point of striving so hard to attain our material goals? How does my college degree or my large bank balance help me at the time of death?

It's ironic. We spend so much time trying to get what we want in this material world and in the end it's all taken away! We have an expectation or desire of how things should be. For many of us we never fully actualize all of our desires and for those rare people who actually achieve all of their goals and dreams it's all taken away through illness, old age and ultimately death.

We have the expectation that we'll be here forever, in this same body, with these same friends and family. It's this expectation that leads to the belief in a heaven where you're reunited with all of your family and friends (and even your pets). Unfortunately the reality is that all of these material, bodily connections are temporary. Our expectations do not align with reality and therefore our material existence is ironic.

Human life is meant for inquiry into the purpose of our existence. If I don't stop to question why I'm doing what I'm doing then I'm living in this illusion of bodily identification and the illusion that I'll be here forever. The whole world has its foundation upon this illusion. We rarely stop to question anything, simply living from one material enjoyment to the next and trying to minimize our suffering or misery. We neglect the big questions and ignore the reality of death.

A child builds a sand castle on the edge of the shore, spending so much time and energy creating it. When the tide rises and the waves come in all of their hard work and effort is washed away. Similarly we're in a situation where we spend so much time creating our identities, personalities, families, friendships, living spaces, etc., but when death comes it's all washed away. We know death is a fact and yet we ignore it. We know our life here is temporary, yet we ignore it. That in itself is ironic! We know the reality, yet we choose to live the opposite of it, perhaps hoping it will just go away.

I know that of late many of my blog entries have been about death and impermanence, but don't worry: I'm not having suicidal thoughts! It's just something that Sri Krishna and Sri Guru constantly remind me of. It's easy to get so bogged down in our day to day existence and overwhelmed with our responsibilities and obligations that we forget this is all temporary. It's easy to forget that there's something beyond all of this. And as soon as we forget that this present material life isn't the be all and end all, then at that moment we fall back into the same old illusions, further prolonging our anxiety, suffering and depression.

Time Keeps on Ticking

Time…it can be our enemy or our best friend, just like our mind. How we spend our time determines the quality and nature of our existence. So many people spend their time absorbed in activities of sense gratification and personal gain. After all, that’s the symptom of being in the material world. This is a place where jivas (individual spirit souls) go when they want to forget about Krishna (God). So it’s no wonder that so many people spend their time in activities trying to forget about God and focusing only on selfish interests.

A life spent in selfish pursuits of sense gratification and material gain is a life wasted. Time is relentlessly marching forward, unconcerned about human affairs. We cannot control time. Therefore Krishna says in the Bhagavad gita that He is time, the destroyer of worlds (BG 11.32). Time is a factor that is beyond us, outside of our ability to manipulate. In this way it’s a representation of God.

We are all under the control of time. Imperceptibly time is aging our physical bodies, bringing us closer to death at every second. Time also creates anxiety within us, because it separates us from our desires. When we want something very intensely or when we’re experiencing something unpleasant, time seems to move so slowly. Conversely, when we’re enjoying something, time seems to move way too quickly. Therefore we’re put into anxiety about the passing of time.
How we spend out time creates our reality. If we spend our time absorbed in materialistic things and materialistic association, then that becomes our existence. If we spend our time absorbed in transcendence and spiritual association, then that becomes our existence.

I always come full circle with these reflections. In order to become fully Krishna Conscious and to develop love for God one has to be completely absorbed in such thoughts and activities. The problem is that we must desire to be in such a state. And it is the desire which is often lacking. It is so much easier to be complacent, to be cynical about the process and to not fight against the waves of illusion that are constantly bombarding us.

Sometimes it feels that there’s not enough incentive to pursue a devotional, spiritual lifestyle. Why should I get up at 4am and chant and pray for two hours? Why should I spend an hour or more reading the sastras? Why should I bother going to the temple? How will these things benefit me in my material life?

And therein lies the problem: these devotional activities are not meant to benefit my material existence! Chanting my rounds doesn’t guarantee a comfortable, prosperous material life! Time spent in devotional activities is meant to benefit me in the bigger scheme of things. And that’s why it’s so hard sometimes to see the importance or necessity of it, because we’re so focused only on the here and now. We don’t stop to consider how time is moving us forward towards death. We don’t see how this present life is just a momentary existence. We don’t realize that this body and mind that we currently reside in are not really who we are! Therefore, in our conditioned state of existence, devotional activities seem like a waste of time. However, if we could step back and see the bigger picture we would see that our existence goes beyond just this present moment in time. Our existence will continue after this material body dies.

Of course all of this requires faith. It requires faith that we’re eternal, spiritual entities. It requires faith that we will continue to exist after death. It requires faith that the Holy Name will bring us to Krishna. It requires faith that Krishna is real. Everything that a spiritual or religious person does is based on faith. We do the things we do because we believe in the paths we have chosen.

Perhaps this is why I waste so much time, because my faith is weak. There are too many doubts, too many unknown variables. I know that I am dying. I know that I won’t be here in this body forever. Yet even knowing this is not enough motivation to chant my rounds, study the sastras and associate with more advanced Vaishnavas. There are just so many other distractions, worrying about jobs and money and how to maintain this material existence. Perhaps I have lost dependence on Krishna and therefore feel so much more anxiety. Perhaps I have become too influenced by the externals around me and haven’t focused deeply within on Paramatma.

At the end of every day I should ask myself, “What did I do today that brought me closer to Krishna or that raised my consciousness?” Otherwise without such reflection everyday will just be another day of time wasted, absorbed in selfish thoughts, selfish desires, anxiety, frustration and self-pity.

American Idol...Worship

I've got a lot of things on my mind and I don't know how to put them all into a cohesive post. As I'm constantly in a state of self-reflection, I often look at my beliefs from an outside perspective. I wonder how my beliefs and values appear to other people.

One of the things I sometimes ponder is the process of archana or worship of the archa-vigraha (Deity) form of God. The word "deity" has such a negative connotation that I wonder why so many Gaudiya-Vaishnava practitioners still use it. Using the word "deity" invokes mental images of cultish people dancing around and worshipping golden cow statues. Especially considered from a Christian perspective the idea of "deity worship" seems like a blatantly sinful activity, as deemed so in the Bible. Of course we know the purport of that commandment means that one should not worship ANYTHING before God; that means even putting money or sex or power before God. It doesn't just mean not worshipping statues.

So what if that statue itself IS God? Well, that's where Gaudiya-Vaishnava theology and the Vedic scriptures come into play. If the world around us is nothing more than God's energy and God is unlimited and omniscient, then it doesn't seem so far fetched that God could appear in the so-called material energy in the form of wood or stone. That is the principle and idea behind the archa-vigraha. It's God manifesting His spiritual, transcendental presence into that seemingly material form. Such a form is not material at all, but to the mundane vision of non-devotees it appears to be a doll or a statue made of material elements. Hence they believe "Hindus" to be worshipping idols.

If there is no understanding about God then it becomes very difficult to understand many aspects of Gaudiya-Vaishnava or Krishna Conscious (bhakti-yoga) practices. There needs to be an initial understanding of God as the Supreme Being and us as subordinate, tiny spirit souls. Once one becomes humble and submissive then the transmission of transcendental knowledge can take place.

If one approaches Krishna Consciousness with a materialistic conception then nothing will make sense. The stories in the Vedas will seem like mythology, the Deity will seem like a stone statue or idol, the chanting of the Hare Krishna maha-mantra will seem like some form of "brainwashing", the Guru will appear to be an ordinary man who desires worship and fame, etc. All of these things are impossible to understand from a polluted materialistic consciousness.

Many people can't even stop eating meat, running after sex and intoxication and seeking out power and fame. They look at the practices of devotees as being absurd and cultish, but due to ignorance they don't even realize they're in the biggest cult of them all: the cult of illusion and materialism. And they sheepishly follow after what mainstream culture, media and advertising tells them to do, enjoy and pursue.

Materialistic people think that devotees and religious, spiritual people in general are crazy, because they're pursuing things based on faith rather than the tangible world outside of us. But the devotees think the materialistic people are crazy, because they're running after temporary, worldly desires and spending so much time and energy trying to make a permanent home in a temporary world.

We all live in a world of faith. The materialistic person has faith in their senses and their material intelligence. They believe that what they can perceive with their senses is all there is and this is what they believe. They put faith in the materialistic scientists to tell them what the world is, but they ignore the question of WHY we're here. The spiritualist or devotee puts their faith in the scriptures and self-realized souls. Either way faith is there.

So I look at my own life and realize that I haven't just put blind faith into a spiritual process. I put faith into it because there are realizations and experiences that come along with the practice. I believe what I believe not because others have told me to believe it, but because I have had experiences which validate what others have said to be true. Of course that doesn't mean I have experienced those higher states of consciousness where I am fully aware of my eternal, spiritual identity, but I have had experiences which have shown me that this process is real. The more of those types of experiences that we have, the closer we come to the true, eternal reality and the further away we grow from illusion and ignorance.

It's in that higher state of consciousness that so many of the practices of bhakti-yoga become coherent and clear. We're not worshipping idols, we're in the presence of God's merciful manifestation so that we may perceive and serve Him with our currently mundane senses. We're not chanting some mundane sound to put us in a hypnotized state, we're chanting God's names as a form of communion, prayer and connection to transcendence. We're not blindly worshipping Guru as a mundane person or celebrity, we're connecting with the essence of Sri Guru or Paramatama, which is Krishna in our heart becoming manifest externally before us.

Even as aspiring devotees we can sometimes "ride the surface" of our devotional activities, never quite going beyond the ritual. In a higher sense it's not the rituals that are important. It's not the organization or the institution that is important. What is important is for us to become purified in our hearts and our consciousness so that we may elevate ourselves to a higher state of being and perception. It's in that higher state that true Krishna Consciousness and devotional service takes place. It's there where we can meet God face to face.

Is God Just In Our Minds?

It's easy to doubt the existence of God. After all, we can't really see Him, touch Him, talk to Him, hang out with Him, play with Him, etc. the way that we can with our material friends, family and acquaintances. We know that God is not known through any empirical or philosophical process. It's said in the Srimad Bhagavatam that God cannot be understood or grasped by our tiny intellects and minds.

Of course this makes things very difficult in trying to understand, know and come closer to God. All we have at the present moment are our tiny minds and conditioned, material senses. It's like we can't know God until we're completely transcendental, but to become completely transcendental we have to attain pure, unconditional love for God. Not such an easy task.

I was recently listening to a class given by H.H. Srila Gour Govinda Swami Maharaja and he was talking about crying for Krishna. I've heard this before, but at that moment I was thinking, "How can I cry for someone that I don't even know?" The only way I "know" Krishna is thorough the sastras, Vaishnavas and Gurus. From them we hear about Krishna. We also know that hearing about Krishna is as good as associating with Krishna directly. Of course that hearing has to be in the proper consciousness, i.e. - in a state of devotion, humility, surrender and attentiveness.

I feel that in the beginning stages of my Krishna Conscious life I was very sincere and strictly followed the process of sadhana-bhakti. My faith was strong and there was a definite sense of Krishna's presence. After time though I found myself struggling against the same anarthas that were there before coming to the devotional path. Why weren't these desires and attachments going away?

We hear that Krishna will test your sincerity and your devotion. Perhaps it was a simple case that I failed all of the tests. Is it because of failing the tests that I now find myself with a much weaker sense of faith?

The existence of God seems so far away and unreal at times. So how can I cry for someone I've never met and someone I don't really know? The great Vaishnava devotees of the Lord would say that we have to put faith in the sastras. But when you really think about it, how can we know those are even true? What if it's just our faith and belief in them that makes them true? The great Vaishnava devotees of the Lord would say that Krishna exists independently of our belief in Him or not, just as the sun exists whether we accept its existence or not.

The one factor that maintains any sense of faith in me is Srila Prabhupada. When you look at his life, hear his lectures or see him on video you know he's on a platform far beyond this material existence. You know he's experiencing something deep, profound and of a transcendental nature. You know he's living in a reality that is far beyond what we're experiencing with our mundane, material senses. But that reality is locked up within his heart, unknown to us and unseen by our prying eyes.

He's assured us that we can all experience such a level of devotional, spiritual existence and ecstasy. He's assured us that we can all meet Krishna face to face. But at times I feel so far away. When I'm working some mundane retail job and constantly associating with materialistic people who's only interest is sense gratification I find myself wondering how I'll ever get to the stage of raganuga-bhakti. When I find myself watching TV or mundane movies or listening to mundane music I wonder how I'll get to a level of devotion where I cry when I can't see Krishna. It's just so abstract and so theoretical.

I know there is no fault in the process. The fault lies within myself. All of the doubts, all of the lack of faith, all of the attachment to material enjoyment, it's all in my own heart, my own consciousness. I'm making the choices to remain in illusion. And by wallowing in illusion and selfish sense gratification the doubts will grow even stronger. The lack of faith will become stronger. This, as the great Vaishnavas of the Lord tell us, is how maya works.

Sometimes it's hard to believe in the existence of God. Sometimes you look at all of the world religions and think, "These things are true only because people put faith in them". Sometimes the material world that we experience with our senses seems like the only true reality. It's in these moments of doubt or illusion that we really have to step back from it all. We have to go inward into our hearts and our consciousness and find that place that transcends time. It is there where Krishna and the great devotees of the Lord reside. As we come to the point of death this will become so much more clear and understandable. We have to let it all go. The attachments to the body, to family, to friends, to our material possessions, etc. It's all an illusion. And the only way to really know Krishna is to find that place within our hearts.

Hare Krishna Hare Krishna, Krishna Krishna Hare Hare
Hare Rama Hare Rama, Rama Rama Hare Hare

In that place this transcendental sound vibration is fully realized as non-different from Krishna. The Holy Name manifests itself fully only in that state of consciousness. This is why devotees can go years and years chanting their rounds but never attain any freedom from their anarthas and never make any advancement on the devotional path. This is why we hear that chanting the Holy Name is not simply a matter of making the sound come out of our mouths. We have to be in the proper state of consciousness to fully realize its potency.

Although my faith is weak and at times my doubts may show, I can never give up the lotus feet of Sri Guru. It is only through the agency and mercy of Sri Guru that we have any hope of attaining the higher stages of devotional service and realization. By the mercy of Sri Guru I can come to understand that God is not merely in my mind or a creation of my imagination. I can come to understand the presence and potency of God in every atom and in every moment. I can begin to open my heart to that love for which my soul is constantly craving.

I Am Not This Body: Self Realization 101

We spend so many of our hours absorbed in the material, external energy of God (Krishna). It's become so habitual and second-nature to us. We, as conscious human beings, accept it as our collective reality. We know from various scriptures in various religions that the material world is temporary, illusory and not our true home. In theory it's easy to accept. In practice, not so much. We spend so much of our time trying to make a permanent situation for comfort and happiness while here.

Srila Gour Govinda Maharaja tells a wonderful, metaphorical story about the soul and how its experience here in the material world is like a person staying the night in a hotel or an inn. I've always loved that analogy. Here we are in this current life, in this current physical body, but our time here is like staying the night at a hotel. The morning comes and you have to check out. The whole time you're aware that this hotel room isn't your permanent place of residence. You're making plans for the next day, realizing that in the morning you'll have to leave.

Yet so many of us think and act and speak in such a way as if we'll be here forever. This is the power of the Lord's illusory energy (maya). We become myopic, narrow-focused and deluded. We become overwhelmed by the problems and responsibilities at hand. We become unable to step back and "see the bigger picture", as they say.

We spend so much time absorbed in illusory conceptions of self and in material identification that it's no wonder when aspiring devotees begin doubting the existence and reality of Sri Krishna. After all, from a completely mundane and materialistic view, Krishna Consciousness seems very mythological and absurd. God appearing as a gigantic fish? Or a boar? Or a turtle? There are so many topics and pastimes within the Vedas and more specifically the Srimad Bhagavatam that, from a materialistic, logical perspective, are completely unbelievable.

Understanding and realizing Sri Krishna and the transcendental, spiritual realm is not an easy thing. It has to begin with that most fundamental of realizations that His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Maharaja continuously and oft repeated: WE ARE NOT OUR BODIES! It seems so simple, so basic and yet it is so elusive in application and realization. I may be able to theoretically understand that I'm not my physical body, but can I live on such a platform of realization as my daily experience, at every moment? Unlikely.

That of course is the process of Krishna Consciousness or bhakti-yoga. It's a process of getting to that point of realization. If we can't even get to that first step, then there's no question of understanding Sri Krishna's transcendental guna (qualities), rupa (forms) and lila (pastimes). They're not accessible to those that are absorbed in a bodily conception of life.

It's this bodily conception of life that is the hallmark of material existence. Every single one of us is thinking we're this physical body and beyond that, the subtle mind with our personalities, desires and dispositions. But it's all an illusion. A grand act of deception carried out by the false ego (ahankara).

Of course we've all heard this a thousand times before. We've heard it in lectures, read it in books, heard it in a song. The problem is in actually REALIZING this truth and having it become our reality.

We must begin to become more absorbed in transcendence. Just as the person in the hotel is thinking about how they have to check out in the morning, we also have to think about where we're heading after this body dies. We have to begin surrounding ourselves with those things and those associations that will direct our attention towards the Supreme. That transcendental reality has to start becoming our reality. We have to start developing detachment to this material world and attachment towards Sri Krishna, the source of all beauty.

Spending enormous amounts of time and energy trying to be happy and comfortable in this material world is a futile endeavor. It's like the building of a sand castle on the shore of a beach, where the tide comes in and washes everything away. Better that we spend our time building a "castle" of devotion within our hearts that will remain even after the physical body dies.

The Nature of Samskaras and Conditioning

The other day I was watching my step-daughter, Madhavi, playing with her Webkinz toys. She was making them reenact her dance competition (which she had just attended the week before), complete with music, dances and cheers from the crowd. It made me remember how another time, after attending my wife's graduation ceremony, that she acted out the ceremony with her Webkinz for the next few days, even setting up a stage, making diplomas, etc.

Then I had the thought that children will act out or play according to what they're experiencing in their environments. Why do they do this? It's because they're reinforcing their experiences and strengthening those neurological pathways in their brains. In other words, they're becoming conditioned.

We've spent our whole life being conditioned. We're conditioned by our parents, peers, the environment, the society, culture, etc. A small child in India grows up learning that when you have to go to the bathroom you go out to the field with a pot of water and then you take a bath. A small child in America learns that when you have to go to the bathroom you sit on a bowl and wipe with toilet paper. They've both been conditioned to accept these practices as being "the right way" to do things, yet intrinsically neither way is right or wrong.

In the Vedic theology we have samskaras or rites of passage in which impressions are placed upon the mind and consciousness for certain major events in our lives. These samskaras leave lasting impressions within the heart and are ultimately meant for our purification and spiritual advancement.

In the same way, once we're born into this material world, we go through various mundane samskaras that leave impressions in our hearts. Conditioning is taking place, whether it's material or spiritual and whether we're aware of it or not. We grow up in our early years being conditioned by the norms and expectations of our parents and in our youth and teens we're more influenced by our peers. We follow the fads and trends in an effort to fit in. We do what other's are doing because it's accepted and seen as something beneficial and important. Sometimes this sort of blind following leads into our adult life and we find ourselves never questioning the world around us.

A major problem in today's society is this sort of blind following. We've become conditioned as a society to NOT think and to just accept the norms as the way of life. We take everything at face value: the news, the media, etc. We've become so conditioned to accept the material body as the self that we can't think beyond it. We've become conditioned to accept this material world as our home. We've become conditioned to accept birth, death, disease and old age as inevitable, harsh realities.

Repetition creates reinforcement. It's like scratching the surface of a wooden table with a needle. If you keep scratching, scratching, scratching eventually the scratch becomes very deep and embedded into the wood grain. It becomes very difficult to remove the scratch. In the same way, our material conditioning is so deep rooted that it's difficult to erase all of these illusions and negative impressions. Even devotees that have been strictly following the process for years and years still find themselves haunted by material desires or still attached to their false ego.

Just as material conditioning is taking place at every moment, we have to begin a process of spiritual conditioning. This is obviously what sadhana or daily, devotional practice is all about. It's trying to create these new, positive impressions and erase the old, negative ones. It's the process of cleansing the mirror of the heart. A difficult process indeed, but definitely possible. We just have to do it! Sometimes (more often than not) I find myself lacking the motivation to engage in the devotional practices. Obviously this is due to conditioning. If you go years without strictly chanting your rounds it becomes habitual. Habit and conditioning are practically synonymous.

So it becomes about habit, about daily patterns. It becomes about what we're repeating in our minds at every moment. We have the power to change ourselves, to transform our hearts and consciousness. That is the nature of free will. Obviously in kali-yuga great mercy is needed to make spiritual advancement, but the fact remains that we have to make the effort. Srila Prabhupada has mercifully given us everything we need to succeed, yet we still have to do our part to follow the process. And therein lies the conundrum of the living entity.