Insect vs. Human vs. Soul

A small winged insect crawls on the window pane next to me. It's oblivious to the sufferings of humanity. It's only concern and focus is where to find food, where to find a mate and how to survive. How does that make me any different? There are thousands of students on this campus, roaming hither and thither, just like the insect: looking for food, sex and comfort.




I look again and the insect is cleaning its eyes and antennae. Now its cleaning its back legs by rubbing them together. Cleanliness is next to godliness, isn't it? I think about our pet dog who could be a vegetarian, doesn't have sex, doesn't gamble and doesn't take intoxication. So how am I any different if I don't pursue and focus on my spiritual life?

Every moment is a chance to reflect on Krishna's presence. The pure devotees never forget about Krishna, even in the face of great suffering and chaos. I could make so many excuses why I don't have the time to think about Krishna, yet Krishna is still there. His presence simply obfuscated by the thin veil of maya. But why is it only in quiet moments of contemplation that I find Krishna's presence so strongly? Why not in those chaotic moments of work and school can I see Krishna before me? Is it because I don't WANT to see Krishna?

The insect still sits there on the window pane, rubbing its back legs together. What kind of life is that? What purpose does it have? As human beings we may look at the insect and think, "What a foolish creature! It's just sitting on the window pane, cleaning itself and looking for food and sex and then it dies! What a meaningless life!" Yet how different are the lives we're leading? "Sophisticated animals", Srila Prabhupada called them.

How can I claim to be a devotee of Krishna if I do not even practice the devotional principles in my own life? I've seen both worlds, i.e. - the world of daily devotional practice and the world of full absorption in maya, and I've seen that the latter is so empty and depressing. When I moved out of the temple at Gita-nagari and back home to my father's house, this realization was even more enhanced. At one point I became so depressed with my lack of devotional service and consciousness. I shared this with my Guru Maharaja to which he replied:

"If you think about it, just living an ordinary life devoid of devotion is damn boring."

And he's right. It's just like the life of the insect crawling on the window. Real life is devotional life, spiritual life; living a life full of service to Guru, Krishna and the devotees. That is real purpose, because it's eternal. It connects us with our genuine, eternal selves, not with the illusion of bodily and mental identification.

It's so easy to fall into the trap of thinking we're human, of thinking we're this body and mind. But we're not! We're pure energy, pure jiva full of bliss, eternality and pure knowledge. How easy it is to forget this. I pray to my Guru Maharaja to continue blessing me with the realization that life without his service and service to the Vaishnavas and Krishna is meaningless.