We spend so many of our hours absorbed in the material, external energy of God (Krishna). It's become so habitual and second-nature to us. We, as conscious human beings, accept it as our collective reality. We know from various scriptures in various religions that the material world is temporary, illusory and not our true home. In theory it's easy to accept. In practice, not so much. We spend so much of our time trying to make a permanent situation for comfort and happiness while here.
Srila Gour Govinda Maharaja tells a wonderful, metaphorical story about the soul and how its experience here in the material world is like a person staying the night in a hotel or an inn. I've always loved that analogy. Here we are in this current life, in this current physical body, but our time here is like staying the night at a hotel. The morning comes and you have to check out. The whole time you're aware that this hotel room isn't your permanent place of residence. You're making plans for the next day, realizing that in the morning you'll have to leave.
Yet so many of us think and act and speak in such a way as if we'll be here forever. This is the power of the Lord's illusory energy (maya). We become myopic, narrow-focused and deluded. We become overwhelmed by the problems and responsibilities at hand. We become unable to step back and "see the bigger picture", as they say.
We spend so much time absorbed in illusory conceptions of self and in material identification that it's no wonder when aspiring devotees begin doubting the existence and reality of Sri Krishna. After all, from a completely mundane and materialistic view, Krishna Consciousness seems very mythological and absurd. God appearing as a gigantic fish? Or a boar? Or a turtle? There are so many topics and pastimes within the Vedas and more specifically the Srimad Bhagavatam that, from a materialistic, logical perspective, are completely unbelievable.
Understanding and realizing Sri Krishna and the transcendental, spiritual realm is not an easy thing. It has to begin with that most fundamental of realizations that His Divine Grace A.C. Bhaktivedanta Swami Maharaja continuously and oft repeated: WE ARE NOT OUR BODIES! It seems so simple, so basic and yet it is so elusive in application and realization. I may be able to theoretically understand that I'm not my physical body, but can I live on such a platform of realization as my daily experience, at every moment? Unlikely.
That of course is the process of Krishna Consciousness or bhakti-yoga. It's a process of getting to that point of realization. If we can't even get to that first step, then there's no question of understanding Sri Krishna's transcendental guna (qualities), rupa (forms) and lila (pastimes). They're not accessible to those that are absorbed in a bodily conception of life.
It's this bodily conception of life that is the hallmark of material existence. Every single one of us is thinking we're this physical body and beyond that, the subtle mind with our personalities, desires and dispositions. But it's all an illusion. A grand act of deception carried out by the false ego (ahankara).
Of course we've all heard this a thousand times before. We've heard it in lectures, read it in books, heard it in a song. The problem is in actually REALIZING this truth and having it become our reality.
We must begin to become more absorbed in transcendence. Just as the person in the hotel is thinking about how they have to check out in the morning, we also have to think about where we're heading after this body dies. We have to begin surrounding ourselves with those things and those associations that will direct our attention towards the Supreme. That transcendental reality has to start becoming our reality. We have to start developing detachment to this material world and attachment towards Sri Krishna, the source of all beauty.
Spending enormous amounts of time and energy trying to be happy and comfortable in this material world is a futile endeavor. It's like the building of a sand castle on the shore of a beach, where the tide comes in and washes everything away. Better that we spend our time building a "castle" of devotion within our hearts that will remain even after the physical body dies.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
Thursday, July 16, 2009
The Nature of Samskaras and Conditioning
The other day I was watching my step-daughter, Madhavi, playing with her Webkinz toys. She was making them reenact her dance competition (which she had just attended the week before), complete with music, dances and cheers from the crowd. It made me remember how another time, after attending my wife's graduation ceremony, that she acted out the ceremony with her Webkinz for the next few days, even setting up a stage, making diplomas, etc.
Then I had the thought that children will act out or play according to what they're experiencing in their environments. Why do they do this? It's because they're reinforcing their experiences and strengthening those neurological pathways in their brains. In other words, they're becoming conditioned.
We've spent our whole life being conditioned. We're conditioned by our parents, peers, the environment, the society, culture, etc. A small child in India grows up learning that when you have to go to the bathroom you go out to the field with a pot of water and then you take a bath. A small child in America learns that when you have to go to the bathroom you sit on a bowl and wipe with toilet paper. They've both been conditioned to accept these practices as being "the right way" to do things, yet intrinsically neither way is right or wrong.
In the Vedic theology we have samskaras or rites of passage in which impressions are placed upon the mind and consciousness for certain major events in our lives. These samskaras leave lasting impressions within the heart and are ultimately meant for our purification and spiritual advancement.
In the same way, once we're born into this material world, we go through various mundane samskaras that leave impressions in our hearts. Conditioning is taking place, whether it's material or spiritual and whether we're aware of it or not. We grow up in our early years being conditioned by the norms and expectations of our parents and in our youth and teens we're more influenced by our peers. We follow the fads and trends in an effort to fit in. We do what other's are doing because it's accepted and seen as something beneficial and important. Sometimes this sort of blind following leads into our adult life and we find ourselves never questioning the world around us.
A major problem in today's society is this sort of blind following. We've become conditioned as a society to NOT think and to just accept the norms as the way of life. We take everything at face value: the news, the media, etc. We've become so conditioned to accept the material body as the self that we can't think beyond it. We've become conditioned to accept this material world as our home. We've become conditioned to accept birth, death, disease and old age as inevitable, harsh realities.
Repetition creates reinforcement. It's like scratching the surface of a wooden table with a needle. If you keep scratching, scratching, scratching eventually the scratch becomes very deep and embedded into the wood grain. It becomes very difficult to remove the scratch. In the same way, our material conditioning is so deep rooted that it's difficult to erase all of these illusions and negative impressions. Even devotees that have been strictly following the process for years and years still find themselves haunted by material desires or still attached to their false ego.
Just as material conditioning is taking place at every moment, we have to begin a process of spiritual conditioning. This is obviously what sadhana or daily, devotional practice is all about. It's trying to create these new, positive impressions and erase the old, negative ones. It's the process of cleansing the mirror of the heart. A difficult process indeed, but definitely possible. We just have to do it! Sometimes (more often than not) I find myself lacking the motivation to engage in the devotional practices. Obviously this is due to conditioning. If you go years without strictly chanting your rounds it becomes habitual. Habit and conditioning are practically synonymous.
So it becomes about habit, about daily patterns. It becomes about what we're repeating in our minds at every moment. We have the power to change ourselves, to transform our hearts and consciousness. That is the nature of free will. Obviously in kali-yuga great mercy is needed to make spiritual advancement, but the fact remains that we have to make the effort. Srila Prabhupada has mercifully given us everything we need to succeed, yet we still have to do our part to follow the process. And therein lies the conundrum of the living entity.
Then I had the thought that children will act out or play according to what they're experiencing in their environments. Why do they do this? It's because they're reinforcing their experiences and strengthening those neurological pathways in their brains. In other words, they're becoming conditioned.
We've spent our whole life being conditioned. We're conditioned by our parents, peers, the environment, the society, culture, etc. A small child in India grows up learning that when you have to go to the bathroom you go out to the field with a pot of water and then you take a bath. A small child in America learns that when you have to go to the bathroom you sit on a bowl and wipe with toilet paper. They've both been conditioned to accept these practices as being "the right way" to do things, yet intrinsically neither way is right or wrong.
In the Vedic theology we have samskaras or rites of passage in which impressions are placed upon the mind and consciousness for certain major events in our lives. These samskaras leave lasting impressions within the heart and are ultimately meant for our purification and spiritual advancement.
In the same way, once we're born into this material world, we go through various mundane samskaras that leave impressions in our hearts. Conditioning is taking place, whether it's material or spiritual and whether we're aware of it or not. We grow up in our early years being conditioned by the norms and expectations of our parents and in our youth and teens we're more influenced by our peers. We follow the fads and trends in an effort to fit in. We do what other's are doing because it's accepted and seen as something beneficial and important. Sometimes this sort of blind following leads into our adult life and we find ourselves never questioning the world around us.
A major problem in today's society is this sort of blind following. We've become conditioned as a society to NOT think and to just accept the norms as the way of life. We take everything at face value: the news, the media, etc. We've become so conditioned to accept the material body as the self that we can't think beyond it. We've become conditioned to accept this material world as our home. We've become conditioned to accept birth, death, disease and old age as inevitable, harsh realities.
Repetition creates reinforcement. It's like scratching the surface of a wooden table with a needle. If you keep scratching, scratching, scratching eventually the scratch becomes very deep and embedded into the wood grain. It becomes very difficult to remove the scratch. In the same way, our material conditioning is so deep rooted that it's difficult to erase all of these illusions and negative impressions. Even devotees that have been strictly following the process for years and years still find themselves haunted by material desires or still attached to their false ego.
Just as material conditioning is taking place at every moment, we have to begin a process of spiritual conditioning. This is obviously what sadhana or daily, devotional practice is all about. It's trying to create these new, positive impressions and erase the old, negative ones. It's the process of cleansing the mirror of the heart. A difficult process indeed, but definitely possible. We just have to do it! Sometimes (more often than not) I find myself lacking the motivation to engage in the devotional practices. Obviously this is due to conditioning. If you go years without strictly chanting your rounds it becomes habitual. Habit and conditioning are practically synonymous.
So it becomes about habit, about daily patterns. It becomes about what we're repeating in our minds at every moment. We have the power to change ourselves, to transform our hearts and consciousness. That is the nature of free will. Obviously in kali-yuga great mercy is needed to make spiritual advancement, but the fact remains that we have to make the effort. Srila Prabhupada has mercifully given us everything we need to succeed, yet we still have to do our part to follow the process. And therein lies the conundrum of the living entity.
Saturday, July 4, 2009
That Which We Do Not Speak Of (Sex Life Revisited)
An astute reader of my previous post noted that it seemed rushed and that it lacked my personality. I was impressed by their ability to detect that it was indeed a rushed post. I had really wanted to post that comic strip, but also needed to be somewhere, so I cut and pasted a bunch of sastric (scriptural) quotes and at the end threw up a link for further reading. Now don't get me wrong: the quotes and link are definitely pertinent and relevant to the discussion, but it was evident that I had thrown it all together without much personal commentary or thoughts on the topic. So in this post I wanted to come back to it with a little more personality.
First off, I was surprised by "Hare Krishna Diary"'s comment on the previous post. In all of the feedback I've been getting they were the only one to feel that I was portraying brahmacari's in a mocking way or saying that ALL brahmacaris are sexual deviants. Obviously that wasn't the intention of the comic strip. The intention was that there are sometimes individual persons in the brahmacari ashram that are struggling with sexual thoughts or reflections. And the problem is: well what do we do with those desires? And how do we stop them? And of course the feeling of hopelessness and frustration that comes along with being unable to stop the powerful pushing of sex desire.
I believe it's just part of the human experience. If it wasn't such an important topic then it wouldn't appear so much in the Srimad Bhagavatam and other Vedic scriptures. My Guru Maharaja, H.H. Bhakti Tirtha Swami, was outspoken on the topic and delineated many important points on this issue in his book "Spiritual Warrior 2: Transforming Lust into Love".
When I was going through my crisis and doubts about being a brahmacari and had expressed to him that perhaps I should put on white cloth, he said to me reassuringly (paraphrasing), "One never really, completely gets rid of sex desire. It's just a matter of learning how to channel (transform) that energy." His point was that as long as we're in a material body, we'll experience such urges and pushes from the senses and mind. Part of the spiritual, devotional process is learning how to focus that energy towards Krishna and devotional service.
In my seven years as a brahmacari I had genuine experiences of being so absorbed in devotional service that thoughts of sex were completely non-existent in my mind. It really all comes down to the mind and what it's focusing and reflecting on. As Krishna says in the Bhagavad-gita, our mind can be our greatest friend or our greatest enemy. When it's uncontrolled it's our enemy and conversely when it's controlled it's our friend.
Controlling the mind is such a paradox, because it's within our power to control it. In other words, the mind is nothing more than a tool or instrument being used by the soul. The individual soul has the freewill and the power to decide how to use the mind. We can control what it's thinking about and reflecting on.
So why does Arjuna say to Krishna in the Bhagavad-gita that controlling the mind seems more difficult than controlling the wind? (Bhagavad-gita 6.34) Because the fact is that even though we are in control of the mind, the mind is sometimes so fickle and obstinate that it overrides our intelligence. We may know the right thing to do, but still our mind urges us towards something improper. Krishna agrees and acknowledges the difficulty of controlling the mind, but says that it's possible with "constant practice and detachment" (Bhagavad-gita 6.35). And Srila Prabhupada, in his purport, says that the most important step in controlling the mind is hearing about Krishna and transcendental topics.
When the mind is engaged in attentively hearing about Krishna (sravanam), then naturally it also becomes absorbed in thoughts of Him (smaranam). That is the secret of controlling the mind. And as we become more attached to Krishna and the process of devotional service, then we become more and more detached from the material world and sense gratification. But again, it takes constant practice. We have to devote the time for hearing and chanting and remembering Krishna. It's not like we just hear one Bhagavad-gita verse and all of a sudden we're pure devotees.
The attraction to sex life is one of those things that we've been conditioned into accepting as the highest pleasure in material existence. We become like Pavlov's dog that every time it heard a bell ring it would begin to salivate, because it had been conditioned to receive a treat every time it heard a bell. So every time we see some stimulus for sex, like the attractive forms of the opposite sex, then our minds think, "Oh, here is pleasure" and we begin to reflect on enjoying sexual pleasures. No doubt there is some pleasure in the experience of orgasm, but it's a temporary, momentary chemical stimulation in the brain. But just as with any addiction, we find ourselves needing more and more of the "drug" just to feel a tiny glimmer of what we once felt in the beginning. Such a downward spiral leads to depression, despair and emptiness.
The fact is, sexual pleasure is just one more weapon in the arsenal of the Lord's illusory energy. Actually, it can be considered the main, chief weapon of maya. It's a force so powerful that it completely binds us to a materialistic, bodily conception of life. Is it impossible to over come? Of course not. Is it difficult to over come? Of course.
The main problem is not having enough desire to become completely Krishna Conscious. We still have desires separate from Krishna and pleasing Krishna's senses. Our devotion is still so mixed with desires for personal benefit and gain. We want Krishna, but we also want sense gratification. Unfortunately this is like trying to mix oil and water. They're just not compatible. As long as we desire our personal sense gratification over desiring Krishna, then to that degree we will remain in illusion and suffering.
Srila Prabhupada explains further in his purport to the Bhagavad-gita verse 6.35 that just by hearing about Krishna we become more attached to Him. We just have to follow the nine-fold process of devotional service and we'll make progress towards Krishna. I think back to some of my best days in Krishna Consciousness and it was when I was fully absorbed in the process. Now I'm lucky if I chant one round a day or read a verse from the Srimad Bhagavatam. If we're not following the process then how can we say, "This process doesn't work!" If the doctor gives us some medicine to take, but we decide not to take it, then how can we complain when our disease or suffering becomes worse? When we find ourselves being harassed and victimized by our mind and senses we have to stop and ask ourselves, "What is the quality of my sadhana (daily devotional practice)? What is the quality of my chanting and hearing?" There's almost no doubt that our suffering and misery are a reflection of our poor (or in some cases non-existent) sadhana.
First off, I was surprised by "Hare Krishna Diary"'s comment on the previous post. In all of the feedback I've been getting they were the only one to feel that I was portraying brahmacari's in a mocking way or saying that ALL brahmacaris are sexual deviants. Obviously that wasn't the intention of the comic strip. The intention was that there are sometimes individual persons in the brahmacari ashram that are struggling with sexual thoughts or reflections. And the problem is: well what do we do with those desires? And how do we stop them? And of course the feeling of hopelessness and frustration that comes along with being unable to stop the powerful pushing of sex desire.
I believe it's just part of the human experience. If it wasn't such an important topic then it wouldn't appear so much in the Srimad Bhagavatam and other Vedic scriptures. My Guru Maharaja, H.H. Bhakti Tirtha Swami, was outspoken on the topic and delineated many important points on this issue in his book "Spiritual Warrior 2: Transforming Lust into Love".
When I was going through my crisis and doubts about being a brahmacari and had expressed to him that perhaps I should put on white cloth, he said to me reassuringly (paraphrasing), "One never really, completely gets rid of sex desire. It's just a matter of learning how to channel (transform) that energy." His point was that as long as we're in a material body, we'll experience such urges and pushes from the senses and mind. Part of the spiritual, devotional process is learning how to focus that energy towards Krishna and devotional service.In my seven years as a brahmacari I had genuine experiences of being so absorbed in devotional service that thoughts of sex were completely non-existent in my mind. It really all comes down to the mind and what it's focusing and reflecting on. As Krishna says in the Bhagavad-gita, our mind can be our greatest friend or our greatest enemy. When it's uncontrolled it's our enemy and conversely when it's controlled it's our friend.
Controlling the mind is such a paradox, because it's within our power to control it. In other words, the mind is nothing more than a tool or instrument being used by the soul. The individual soul has the freewill and the power to decide how to use the mind. We can control what it's thinking about and reflecting on.
So why does Arjuna say to Krishna in the Bhagavad-gita that controlling the mind seems more difficult than controlling the wind? (Bhagavad-gita 6.34) Because the fact is that even though we are in control of the mind, the mind is sometimes so fickle and obstinate that it overrides our intelligence. We may know the right thing to do, but still our mind urges us towards something improper. Krishna agrees and acknowledges the difficulty of controlling the mind, but says that it's possible with "constant practice and detachment" (Bhagavad-gita 6.35). And Srila Prabhupada, in his purport, says that the most important step in controlling the mind is hearing about Krishna and transcendental topics.
When the mind is engaged in attentively hearing about Krishna (sravanam), then naturally it also becomes absorbed in thoughts of Him (smaranam). That is the secret of controlling the mind. And as we become more attached to Krishna and the process of devotional service, then we become more and more detached from the material world and sense gratification. But again, it takes constant practice. We have to devote the time for hearing and chanting and remembering Krishna. It's not like we just hear one Bhagavad-gita verse and all of a sudden we're pure devotees.
The attraction to sex life is one of those things that we've been conditioned into accepting as the highest pleasure in material existence. We become like Pavlov's dog that every time it heard a bell ring it would begin to salivate, because it had been conditioned to receive a treat every time it heard a bell. So every time we see some stimulus for sex, like the attractive forms of the opposite sex, then our minds think, "Oh, here is pleasure" and we begin to reflect on enjoying sexual pleasures. No doubt there is some pleasure in the experience of orgasm, but it's a temporary, momentary chemical stimulation in the brain. But just as with any addiction, we find ourselves needing more and more of the "drug" just to feel a tiny glimmer of what we once felt in the beginning. Such a downward spiral leads to depression, despair and emptiness.
The fact is, sexual pleasure is just one more weapon in the arsenal of the Lord's illusory energy. Actually, it can be considered the main, chief weapon of maya. It's a force so powerful that it completely binds us to a materialistic, bodily conception of life. Is it impossible to over come? Of course not. Is it difficult to over come? Of course.
The main problem is not having enough desire to become completely Krishna Conscious. We still have desires separate from Krishna and pleasing Krishna's senses. Our devotion is still so mixed with desires for personal benefit and gain. We want Krishna, but we also want sense gratification. Unfortunately this is like trying to mix oil and water. They're just not compatible. As long as we desire our personal sense gratification over desiring Krishna, then to that degree we will remain in illusion and suffering.
Srila Prabhupada explains further in his purport to the Bhagavad-gita verse 6.35 that just by hearing about Krishna we become more attached to Him. We just have to follow the nine-fold process of devotional service and we'll make progress towards Krishna. I think back to some of my best days in Krishna Consciousness and it was when I was fully absorbed in the process. Now I'm lucky if I chant one round a day or read a verse from the Srimad Bhagavatam. If we're not following the process then how can we say, "This process doesn't work!" If the doctor gives us some medicine to take, but we decide not to take it, then how can we complain when our disease or suffering becomes worse? When we find ourselves being harassed and victimized by our mind and senses we have to stop and ask ourselves, "What is the quality of my sadhana (daily devotional practice)? What is the quality of my chanting and hearing?" There's almost no doubt that our suffering and misery are a reflection of our poor (or in some cases non-existent) sadhana.
Tuesday, June 30, 2009
Brahmacaris, Celibacy and Sex Life
*WARNING!*
DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY THE DISCUSSION OF SEXUAL TOPICS. THE COMIC STRIP I HAVE POSTED HERE AND THIS BLOG ENTRY ARE OF A SEXUAL NATURE.
DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER IF YOU ARE OFFENDED BY THE DISCUSSION OF SEXUAL TOPICS. THE COMIC STRIP I HAVE POSTED HERE AND THIS BLOG ENTRY ARE OF A SEXUAL NATURE.
I created the following comic strip entitled "Brahmacari Blues" to address an oft-not discussed topic: brahmacari's dealing with sex desire. In my personal experience of 7 years as a celibate, brahmacari monk, the last 3 of those years was fraught with sex desire and doubts about the path I was on. But it always seemed like the topic of sex and masturbation just wasn't something you talked about with your fellow monks. And it was also something you dare not discuss with anyone else for fear of judgement or ridicule. Yet I wonder how many other brahmacaris that I was with and that I met in my journeys were also silently struggling with sex desire? And what to speak of brahmacaris, how many devotees in general are struggling with controlling sex desire?
The topic of sex life just seems to be one of those things that many devotees don't feel comfortable talking about. And obviously there has to be some sense of chastity, privacy and appropriateness in its discussion. But it just seems like if more devotees were open and honest about it, then there wouldn't be so much guilt, feelings of failure or feelings of isolation. If someone thinks, "Well gee...every other devotee is so happy and blissfully engaged in chanting and rendering their service. I must be the only one struggling with sex desire and chanting my rounds!" then obviously there will be feelings of alienation, despair and lacking.
In this comic strip a brahmacari is happily leading a kirtan down a city street. Then he encounters visions that are not uncommon in today's society: ads and images of sex. He tries his best to not dwell on them, but then the kirtan party encounters two scantily clad and well-endowed women on the beach. His mind and focus are disturbed. Later that evening he dreams of sex life and experiences a "wet dream". He feels dejected and that he'll never become free of sex desire. Click on the image below to read it:
One of the greatest forces in this material world is sex desire. Arjuna asks Sri Krishna in the Bhagavad-gita, "O descendant of Vrsni, by what is one impelled to sinful acts, even unwillingly, as if engaged by force?" Sri Krishna replies, "It is lust only Arjuna, which is born of contact with the material modes of passion and later transformed into wrath, and which is the all-devouring, sinful enemy of the world." (Bhagavad-gita, Chap.3, verses 36-37).
The topic of sex life just seems to be one of those things that many devotees don't feel comfortable talking about. And obviously there has to be some sense of chastity, privacy and appropriateness in its discussion. But it just seems like if more devotees were open and honest about it, then there wouldn't be so much guilt, feelings of failure or feelings of isolation. If someone thinks, "Well gee...every other devotee is so happy and blissfully engaged in chanting and rendering their service. I must be the only one struggling with sex desire and chanting my rounds!" then obviously there will be feelings of alienation, despair and lacking.
In this comic strip a brahmacari is happily leading a kirtan down a city street. Then he encounters visions that are not uncommon in today's society: ads and images of sex. He tries his best to not dwell on them, but then the kirtan party encounters two scantily clad and well-endowed women on the beach. His mind and focus are disturbed. Later that evening he dreams of sex life and experiences a "wet dream". He feels dejected and that he'll never become free of sex desire. Click on the image below to read it:
One of the greatest forces in this material world is sex desire. Arjuna asks Sri Krishna in the Bhagavad-gita, "O descendant of Vrsni, by what is one impelled to sinful acts, even unwillingly, as if engaged by force?" Sri Krishna replies, "It is lust only Arjuna, which is born of contact with the material modes of passion and later transformed into wrath, and which is the all-devouring, sinful enemy of the world." (Bhagavad-gita, Chap.3, verses 36-37).
We are driven by lust, which is characterized by selfishness and self-centered desires and pursuits. It makes us do things without thinking of the consequences.
Srila Prabhupada says in his purport to the 39th verse of the third chapter in the Bhagavad-gita:
"It is said in the Manu-smrti that lust cannot be satisfied by any amount of sense enjoyment, just as fire is never extinguished by a constant supply of fuel. In the material world, the center of all activities is sex, and thus this material world is called maithunya-agara, or the shackles of sex life. In the ordinary prison house, criminals are kept within bars; similarly, the criminals who are disobedient to the laws of the Lord are shackled by sex life. Advancement of material civilization on the basis of sense gratification means increasing the duration of the material existence of a living entity. Therefore, this lust is the symbol of ignorance by which the living entity is kept within the material world. While one enjoys sense gratification, it may be that there is some feeling of happiness, but actually that so-called feeling of happiness is the ultimate enemy of the sense enjoyer."
This is definitely a shocking view of sex life to those of us who have been brought up in a liberal, modern society that promotes sexual activity and promiscuity. Our culture is becoming more and more sexualized and it's reflected in the dress, attitudes and activities of pre-teens and teenage pregnancy.
Sexual energy is one of the most powerful material energies. Lord Vishnu even displayed it to bewilder the mind of Lord Shiva. As Srila Prabhupada says in a Srimad Bhagavatam purport (8.12.16):
Sexual energy is one of the most powerful material energies. Lord Vishnu even displayed it to bewilder the mind of Lord Shiva. As Srila Prabhupada says in a Srimad Bhagavatam purport (8.12.16):
"Lord Siva's desiring to see Lord Vishnu reveal the most attractive and beautiful form of a woman was certainly a joking affair. Lord Siva knew that he could not be agitated by any so-called beautiful woman. "The Daityas may have been bewildered," he thought, "but since even the demigods could not be agitated, what to speak of me, who am the best of all the demigods?" However, because Lord Siva wanted to see Lord Vishnu's form as a woman, Lord Vishnu decided to impersonate a woman and show him a form that would immediately put him in an ocean of lusty desires."
There are many more examples in the Srimad Bhagavatam of how sex desire brought down many a great sage and yogi. And we know even in modern times that many so-called spiritual and material leaders have fallen prey to unrestricted sex desire and scandal.
So we know that it is lusty, selfish desire that propels us towards sexual activity. Why is it so enticing and attractive? It's because of the pleasure we experience from it. Srila Prabhupada also explains this pleasure in a purport from Srimad Bhagavatam (2.6.8):
So we know that it is lusty, selfish desire that propels us towards sexual activity. Why is it so enticing and attractive? It's because of the pleasure we experience from it. Srila Prabhupada also explains this pleasure in a purport from Srimad Bhagavatam (2.6.8):
"The genitals and the pleasure of begetting counteract the distresses of family encumbrances. One would cease to generate altogether if there were not, by the grace of the Lord, a coating, a pleasure-giving substance, on the surface of the generative organs. This substance gives a pleasure so intense that it counteracts fully the distress of family encumbrances. A person is so captivated by this pleasure-giving substance that he is not satisfied by begetting a single child, but increases the number of children, with great risk in regard to maintaining them, simply for this pleasure-giving substance.
This pleasure-giving substance is not false, however, because it originates from the transcendental body of the Lord. In other words, the pleasure-giving substance is a reality, but it has taken on an aspect of pervertedness on account of material contamination. In the material world, sex life is the cause of many distresses on account of material contact.
Therefore, the sex life in the material world should not be encouraged beyond the necessity. There is a necessity for generating progeny even in the material world, but such generation of children must be carried out with full responsibility for spiritual values. The spiritual values of life can be realized in the human form of material existence, and the human being must adopt family planning with reference to the context of spiritual values, and not otherwise.
The degraded form of family restriction by use of contraceptives, etc., is the grossest type of material contamination. Materialists who use these devices want to fully utilize the pleasure potency of the coating on the genitals by artificial means, without knowing the spiritual importance. And without knowledge of spiritual values, the less intelligent man tries to utilize only the material sense pleasure of the genitals."
This pleasure-giving substance is not false, however, because it originates from the transcendental body of the Lord. In other words, the pleasure-giving substance is a reality, but it has taken on an aspect of pervertedness on account of material contamination. In the material world, sex life is the cause of many distresses on account of material contact.
Therefore, the sex life in the material world should not be encouraged beyond the necessity. There is a necessity for generating progeny even in the material world, but such generation of children must be carried out with full responsibility for spiritual values. The spiritual values of life can be realized in the human form of material existence, and the human being must adopt family planning with reference to the context of spiritual values, and not otherwise.
The degraded form of family restriction by use of contraceptives, etc., is the grossest type of material contamination. Materialists who use these devices want to fully utilize the pleasure potency of the coating on the genitals by artificial means, without knowing the spiritual importance. And without knowledge of spiritual values, the less intelligent man tries to utilize only the material sense pleasure of the genitals."
We know from scientific evidence that this "coating" on the genitals is nothing more than a higher density of nerve endings. When these nerve endings are stimulated there is a release of chemicals in the brain known as endorphins. These endorphins give us a sense of pleasure, happiness and euphoria. In other words, material ecstasy. Sexual stimulation is one of the most powerful forms of sense gratification and pleasure in the material world. In one sense, it's no different than becoming addicted to any other form of chemically-based sense gratification, like drugs, alcohol, etc. And from a higher perspective, ALL sense gratification is nothing more than an experience of chemical stimulation in our brains.
So what do we do with this sex desire? Stephen Knapp (Srinandanandana Das) has written an excellent article on this topic. You can read it here:
http://www.stephen-knapp.com/becoming_free_from_sex_desire.htm
It's a dense read, but well worth the time to consume and reflect upon.
So what do we do with this sex desire? Stephen Knapp (Srinandanandana Das) has written an excellent article on this topic. You can read it here:
http://www.stephen-knapp.com/becoming_free_from_sex_desire.htm
It's a dense read, but well worth the time to consume and reflect upon.
Tuesday, June 2, 2009
Will I Ever Cry for Krishna?
Just a couple days ago, while reading H.H. Radhanath Swami's autobiography, I was reflecting on what makes one person so dedicated and focused on the path of bhakti, while another person is weak, lazy and unfocused? We see in every religion that there are different types of worshippers or practitioners. Some people are very devout; never missing a service, chanting, praying, strictly following their scriptures, etc. At the same time, someone in the same religion could be full of hypocrisy, have no morals, rarely attend their church or temple or mosque, etc., but they still adhere to their beliefs and faith. Maybe sometimes a person is sincere, but just weak in their faith. In other instances perhaps they were just born into their religion, so they just follow the externals because it's socially expected of them.
Even within the Gaudiya-Vaishnava theology we have different levels of devotee, i.e. - the kanistha, the madhyam and the uttama-adhikaris. We're all at different levels of spiritual advancement and realization. We're all engaging in devotional service for our own reasons, just as in other religions, people are following their beliefs for their own reasons. We all have some kind of motivation for adhering to our particular faith or belief.
As we're trudging along on the path of bhakti, we constantly have to take self inventory. When self analysis and reflection stop, so does our advancement. I've noted in myself that when I become complacent, lazy or disinterested in my devotional life that I have so much more stress, anxiety and depression. If we take a break from chanting or hearing or associating with more advanced Vaishnavas, then the material modes of nature and maya will devour us. Our minds and senses will take full control. We can't be careless or whimsical on this path of devotion. It truly is a science and if we want the results we have to follow it properly.
Still, knowing what is to be done, why does this desire not arise within my heart? Why do I find it hard to be motivated to chant 16 rounds everyday? To study the sastras everyday? To run where higher Vaishnava association is available? Why do I find my mind still more attracted to sense gratification than to Krishna?
Even when I wore the saffron cloth of a brahmacari and had a shaven head and sikha, in those last few years in the temple I was losing taste for devotional service and for chanting. Where did that early enthusiasm and zeal disappear to? I used to jump so high in the kirtans and dance like a madman for the pleasure of the Deities and my Guru Maharaja, but now I'm a wallflower, standing in the background and softly clapping my hands. I used to be so eager to preach and share Krishna with others by going out on book distribution or sankirtan. So what happened? How did I go from fixed up a brahmacari to a struggling fringy?
I was speaking with one devotee a couple weeks ago and he was saying that since Krishna Consciousness is a science, that when something is going wrong in your devotional life then it means you're not following something properly. He was saying how offenses in devotional service can stifle one's progress. Perhaps it was because of my accumulated offenses to my Guru Maharaja, to the Deities and to the devotees that ultimately I lost all taste for the devotional process and left the temple to pursue a materialistic, self-absorbed existence.
Maybe I wasn't humble enough. Maybe I wasn't surrendered enough. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Obviously the past can't be changed, nor is there any reason to dwell upon it. All we have is the present moment. And in this present moment I find myself at every second being given the choice to be Krishna Conscious or to be in maya. A few days ago I posted a Facebook update that said something like, "Jayadeva Dasa is wondering when his mind will remain fixed on the lotus feet of Sri Guru and Sri Krishna without diversion". Some people responded that it could be NOW if I wanted it to be. And it's so true. It's our desire that determines our consciousness.
I always come full circle with this kind of thinking. If we desire to be Krishna Conscious then we'll be Krishna Conscious. Well what if we don't have the desire? Then associate with those who do! And if you don't have the desire to even pursue that kind of association, then pray to Guru and Krishna to attain it. We are definitely mercy cases in this kali yuga. How unfortunate I am that I have come this close the ocean of bhakti-yoga, yet I am unable to dive deeply into it. Due to my weak mind and desires for sense gratification I cannot enter deeply into the mysteries of bhakti. I cannot experience those higher states of realization, awareness and love.
By the grace of Srila Prabhupada and our Gurus we know what the process is. We know what is to be done...yet we find ourselves unable or uninterested. As the great Vaishnava poets might say, "Alas! Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu and Sri Nityananda Prabhu have descended on this earth to drown every living entity in the ocean of pure love for God, yet I am so unfortunate that not even a drop of this love has touched me!"
We have to become eager for Krishna Consciousness. We have to long for it, desire it and cry for it. We have to understand its importance and urgency. We have to feel empty and void without it. Without such feeling we will always give in to the maya, give in to the sense gratification, give in to our lower, material natures. If we don't think we're in danger, we'll never cry out to the Lord and as Srila Prabhupada has said, one has to chant the Holy Name as a child in distress cries out for their mother or father.
My dear Guru Maharaja, please give me this gift of being able to sincerely and humbly cry for Krishna's mercy, love and service. It is through this intense eagerness and crying that I will be able to remain fixed on the path of devotional service and to always make the right choices and pass all the tests.
Even within the Gaudiya-Vaishnava theology we have different levels of devotee, i.e. - the kanistha, the madhyam and the uttama-adhikaris. We're all at different levels of spiritual advancement and realization. We're all engaging in devotional service for our own reasons, just as in other religions, people are following their beliefs for their own reasons. We all have some kind of motivation for adhering to our particular faith or belief.
As we're trudging along on the path of bhakti, we constantly have to take self inventory. When self analysis and reflection stop, so does our advancement. I've noted in myself that when I become complacent, lazy or disinterested in my devotional life that I have so much more stress, anxiety and depression. If we take a break from chanting or hearing or associating with more advanced Vaishnavas, then the material modes of nature and maya will devour us. Our minds and senses will take full control. We can't be careless or whimsical on this path of devotion. It truly is a science and if we want the results we have to follow it properly.
Still, knowing what is to be done, why does this desire not arise within my heart? Why do I find it hard to be motivated to chant 16 rounds everyday? To study the sastras everyday? To run where higher Vaishnava association is available? Why do I find my mind still more attracted to sense gratification than to Krishna?
Even when I wore the saffron cloth of a brahmacari and had a shaven head and sikha, in those last few years in the temple I was losing taste for devotional service and for chanting. Where did that early enthusiasm and zeal disappear to? I used to jump so high in the kirtans and dance like a madman for the pleasure of the Deities and my Guru Maharaja, but now I'm a wallflower, standing in the background and softly clapping my hands. I used to be so eager to preach and share Krishna with others by going out on book distribution or sankirtan. So what happened? How did I go from fixed up a brahmacari to a struggling fringy?
I was speaking with one devotee a couple weeks ago and he was saying that since Krishna Consciousness is a science, that when something is going wrong in your devotional life then it means you're not following something properly. He was saying how offenses in devotional service can stifle one's progress. Perhaps it was because of my accumulated offenses to my Guru Maharaja, to the Deities and to the devotees that ultimately I lost all taste for the devotional process and left the temple to pursue a materialistic, self-absorbed existence.
Maybe I wasn't humble enough. Maybe I wasn't surrendered enough. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Obviously the past can't be changed, nor is there any reason to dwell upon it. All we have is the present moment. And in this present moment I find myself at every second being given the choice to be Krishna Conscious or to be in maya. A few days ago I posted a Facebook update that said something like, "Jayadeva Dasa is wondering when his mind will remain fixed on the lotus feet of Sri Guru and Sri Krishna without diversion". Some people responded that it could be NOW if I wanted it to be. And it's so true. It's our desire that determines our consciousness.
I always come full circle with this kind of thinking. If we desire to be Krishna Conscious then we'll be Krishna Conscious. Well what if we don't have the desire? Then associate with those who do! And if you don't have the desire to even pursue that kind of association, then pray to Guru and Krishna to attain it. We are definitely mercy cases in this kali yuga. How unfortunate I am that I have come this close the ocean of bhakti-yoga, yet I am unable to dive deeply into it. Due to my weak mind and desires for sense gratification I cannot enter deeply into the mysteries of bhakti. I cannot experience those higher states of realization, awareness and love.
By the grace of Srila Prabhupada and our Gurus we know what the process is. We know what is to be done...yet we find ourselves unable or uninterested. As the great Vaishnava poets might say, "Alas! Sri Chaitanya Mahaprabhu and Sri Nityananda Prabhu have descended on this earth to drown every living entity in the ocean of pure love for God, yet I am so unfortunate that not even a drop of this love has touched me!"
We have to become eager for Krishna Consciousness. We have to long for it, desire it and cry for it. We have to understand its importance and urgency. We have to feel empty and void without it. Without such feeling we will always give in to the maya, give in to the sense gratification, give in to our lower, material natures. If we don't think we're in danger, we'll never cry out to the Lord and as Srila Prabhupada has said, one has to chant the Holy Name as a child in distress cries out for their mother or father.
My dear Guru Maharaja, please give me this gift of being able to sincerely and humbly cry for Krishna's mercy, love and service. It is through this intense eagerness and crying that I will be able to remain fixed on the path of devotional service and to always make the right choices and pass all the tests.
Thursday, May 14, 2009
When Considered in the Face of Death
Have you ever taken one of those naps where you wake up and you feel discombobulated? Like you don't know where you are or what time it is and somehow everything feels foreign and somewhat unreal? I haven't had the experience lately, but I can remember the sensation. It makes me realize how this life is temporary and that I'm going to die one day.
Every now and then as I'm going through my daily routines and duties I'm interrupted by the thought, "What is the point of all of this?" And then it made me realize: when we weigh something against the reality of death, it really puts it into perspective. How much value will my BA in Art Education have as I'm laying on my death bed? How much will it matter that I helped people make copies at Staples?
And then it hits me: the only things that are important at the time of death are the things that we did selflessly to help, heal or uplift someone else. A life of service is a life well lived. How proud will I be laying there dying and thinking how I wasted my life in self-absorbed activities and thoughts and desires for sense gratification and personal enjoyment? When you think about it, it's actually embarrassing and shameful.
Those activities and thoughts and desires will do nothing but guarantee our rebirth in another material body in this miserable material world. So how can I live for others? How can I live a fulfilled life of trying to help and assist other living beings?
This was and still is one of my greatest struggles in devotional life. I can't seem to find that switch to flip to become selfless. My Guru Maharaja, H.H. Bhakti Tirtha Swami Maharaja, wrote in my copy of Spiritual Warrior 2:
"Lust attacks us on the gross and subtle levels. We will always be defeated unless we become truly selfless. Yours in the struggle for unconditional love."
And one time he said to me (after asking him how I can become more selfless), "Do you realize you keep asking the same question over and over? You might want to take a look at that." His point was that he kept giving me the answer, but I wasn't applying it. The way we become selfless is by simply being selfless! Another time I had said to him (paraphrasing), "Guru Maharaja, you're traveling all over the world in spite of your poor health. How do you do it?" He smiled that wide smile of his and replied, "Jayadeva, you think about your self too much!"
The secret to a truly happy, fulfilled and blessed life is to be genuinely selfless. Being genuinely selfless means doing things for others joyfully, willfully and with real love, compassion and concern. I sometimes thought I was being selfless as my Guru Maharaja's personal servant and secretary. After all, I was sometimes not eating, barely sleeping, sitting for long hours dictating emails, cleaning, doing Deity seva, serving, etc. So externally it appeared that I was very selfless and surrendered. But my Gurudeva knew my heart and one time in New Vrindavan he said to me, "You're doing all this service, but internally you're just angry and resentful." It caught me off guard, because I didn't realize I was giving off such a strong vibe with my energy, but it was completely true. I was never happy as his personal servant, because I was too self-absorbed and thinking about how I was miserable and tired or hungry or whatever. I just wanted to be relaxing and spacing out. I didn't want the stress and pressure of being that close to my Guru.
So externally we can appear to be very selfless, doing so many things for others, but internally harboring that resentment, anger and frustration. That's not the kind of selflessness that will make us happy. It will make us bitter and miserable. I believe that's part of the reason I couldn't remain as a brahmacari as well. It was a fake and forced sort of surrender; not a genuine, heartfelt reality.
So I left the temple and dove right back into the inviting waters of maya and I enjoyed my selfish pursuits and endeavors for material happiness. But after some time it made me feel empty and depressed. I expressed this to my Guru Maharaja to which he replied that living a life devoid of devotional service is "so damn boring". And it's true. A life without devotional service to the Vaishnavas, Guru and Krishna is so empty and pointless. Those are truly the only things that matter at the time of death. Everything else we've done and spent our time absorbed in will be evaporated and rendered meaningless by the touch of death.
Does that mean we all retire and move to Sri Vrindavan Dhama, because after all, everything else is just maya and a waste of time? Of course not. But it means we really have to find out how to cultivate a mood of selfless devotion within the activities of our daily life. If we're working some crappy retail job, we have to see how it's ultimately service to Guru and Krishna. It's not easy and I'm not claiming I'm at that level of devotional realization. I'm really just talking to myself here. If my activities and thoughts have no connection to Krishna, then what is their value? So I have to find some way of dovetailing everything I do into Guru and Krishna's service. Then, at the time of death, I won't feel like this life was completely wasted in pursuits of selfish sense gratification.
Every now and then as I'm going through my daily routines and duties I'm interrupted by the thought, "What is the point of all of this?" And then it made me realize: when we weigh something against the reality of death, it really puts it into perspective. How much value will my BA in Art Education have as I'm laying on my death bed? How much will it matter that I helped people make copies at Staples?
And then it hits me: the only things that are important at the time of death are the things that we did selflessly to help, heal or uplift someone else. A life of service is a life well lived. How proud will I be laying there dying and thinking how I wasted my life in self-absorbed activities and thoughts and desires for sense gratification and personal enjoyment? When you think about it, it's actually embarrassing and shameful.
Those activities and thoughts and desires will do nothing but guarantee our rebirth in another material body in this miserable material world. So how can I live for others? How can I live a fulfilled life of trying to help and assist other living beings?
This was and still is one of my greatest struggles in devotional life. I can't seem to find that switch to flip to become selfless. My Guru Maharaja, H.H. Bhakti Tirtha Swami Maharaja, wrote in my copy of Spiritual Warrior 2:
"Lust attacks us on the gross and subtle levels. We will always be defeated unless we become truly selfless. Yours in the struggle for unconditional love."
And one time he said to me (after asking him how I can become more selfless), "Do you realize you keep asking the same question over and over? You might want to take a look at that." His point was that he kept giving me the answer, but I wasn't applying it. The way we become selfless is by simply being selfless! Another time I had said to him (paraphrasing), "Guru Maharaja, you're traveling all over the world in spite of your poor health. How do you do it?" He smiled that wide smile of his and replied, "Jayadeva, you think about your self too much!"
The secret to a truly happy, fulfilled and blessed life is to be genuinely selfless. Being genuinely selfless means doing things for others joyfully, willfully and with real love, compassion and concern. I sometimes thought I was being selfless as my Guru Maharaja's personal servant and secretary. After all, I was sometimes not eating, barely sleeping, sitting for long hours dictating emails, cleaning, doing Deity seva, serving, etc. So externally it appeared that I was very selfless and surrendered. But my Gurudeva knew my heart and one time in New Vrindavan he said to me, "You're doing all this service, but internally you're just angry and resentful." It caught me off guard, because I didn't realize I was giving off such a strong vibe with my energy, but it was completely true. I was never happy as his personal servant, because I was too self-absorbed and thinking about how I was miserable and tired or hungry or whatever. I just wanted to be relaxing and spacing out. I didn't want the stress and pressure of being that close to my Guru.
So externally we can appear to be very selfless, doing so many things for others, but internally harboring that resentment, anger and frustration. That's not the kind of selflessness that will make us happy. It will make us bitter and miserable. I believe that's part of the reason I couldn't remain as a brahmacari as well. It was a fake and forced sort of surrender; not a genuine, heartfelt reality.
So I left the temple and dove right back into the inviting waters of maya and I enjoyed my selfish pursuits and endeavors for material happiness. But after some time it made me feel empty and depressed. I expressed this to my Guru Maharaja to which he replied that living a life devoid of devotional service is "so damn boring". And it's true. A life without devotional service to the Vaishnavas, Guru and Krishna is so empty and pointless. Those are truly the only things that matter at the time of death. Everything else we've done and spent our time absorbed in will be evaporated and rendered meaningless by the touch of death.
Does that mean we all retire and move to Sri Vrindavan Dhama, because after all, everything else is just maya and a waste of time? Of course not. But it means we really have to find out how to cultivate a mood of selfless devotion within the activities of our daily life. If we're working some crappy retail job, we have to see how it's ultimately service to Guru and Krishna. It's not easy and I'm not claiming I'm at that level of devotional realization. I'm really just talking to myself here. If my activities and thoughts have no connection to Krishna, then what is their value? So I have to find some way of dovetailing everything I do into Guru and Krishna's service. Then, at the time of death, I won't feel like this life was completely wasted in pursuits of selfish sense gratification.
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
The Certainty of Uncertainty
I've been reflecting the past few days on how everything in our experiences, both material and spiritual are continuously changing. Sometimes though things seem like they will never change. This can either be a blessing or a curse, depending on the situation and circumstances. If we're happily in love with someone, that love and those feelings can seem like they'll never stop; like we'll always feel that kind of blissful love for the other person. In this regard, the feeling like it will never change is a blessing. Of course we know that after the initial "honeymoon" phase or when the relationship becomes more serious that things do in fact change. There will be conflicts, doubts, arguments, etc.
Conversely, we could be in a very bad situation. Perhaps our health is very poor. It may feel like we'll always be sick and that we'll never feel better. Of course we know that after some time our health returns to normal and we're able to enjoy life again.
This is the nature of material experience: it's constantly changing. Situations may seem like they're lasting forever, but they won't. Nothing here in the material world lasts forever. And yet we completely deny this fact by trying to arrange our lives in such a way that we can be in the illusion that our lives will never change. We follow routines and make habits to make things predictable and controllable.
When we wake up in the morning, we're certain that we're going to follow the same routine. We're certain the shower will turn on and hot water will come out. We're certain our coffee maker will work. We're certain our hands and legs will move. We're certain that our car will start. When something doesn't go as planned or is out of our normal routine, we panic or become angry or frustrated. Why is that? Because it reminds us that we're not in control. It reminds us that at any moment our fabricated, certain and assured existence can come crashing down into uncertainty, unpredictability and chaos.
Ultimately, when things don't go as planned or when we can't change things or control things the way we think they should be, it really reminds us of our insignificance and mortality. As rebellious souls, we don't want to be reminded of these things!
The fact is that we have no ultimate control. The fact is that even though we don't want to die, we will. The fact is that even though we don't want things to change, they will. There is great certainty to the uncertainty of our lives. The greatest illusion is to think that we are in control and that we are making things happen. The more we fight against this reality, the more miserable we'll become. The Taoists are really on to something when they talk about going with the flow of existence.
We can't fight change and we can't change that which is out of our control. Even the election of Obama proved that things are constantly changing. George W. Bush couldn't remain as the President of the United States forever. It may have seemed like a long time to some people (and not long enough for others), but the fact is things changed.
When we are surrendered to God (Krishna) we are not anxious about the uncertainty of our lives. We are not concerned about trying to control things. We are not concerned about the changes that will come. There is an inner calm, an inner peace and an inner knowingness that Krishna is there and protecting us. When we are truly calm and quiet in our minds and existing in the present moment we can feel that presence. But in order to get to that state of mind, we have to let go. And as rebellious souls, we don't want to let go.
Conversely, we could be in a very bad situation. Perhaps our health is very poor. It may feel like we'll always be sick and that we'll never feel better. Of course we know that after some time our health returns to normal and we're able to enjoy life again.
This is the nature of material experience: it's constantly changing. Situations may seem like they're lasting forever, but they won't. Nothing here in the material world lasts forever. And yet we completely deny this fact by trying to arrange our lives in such a way that we can be in the illusion that our lives will never change. We follow routines and make habits to make things predictable and controllable.
When we wake up in the morning, we're certain that we're going to follow the same routine. We're certain the shower will turn on and hot water will come out. We're certain our coffee maker will work. We're certain our hands and legs will move. We're certain that our car will start. When something doesn't go as planned or is out of our normal routine, we panic or become angry or frustrated. Why is that? Because it reminds us that we're not in control. It reminds us that at any moment our fabricated, certain and assured existence can come crashing down into uncertainty, unpredictability and chaos.
Ultimately, when things don't go as planned or when we can't change things or control things the way we think they should be, it really reminds us of our insignificance and mortality. As rebellious souls, we don't want to be reminded of these things!
The fact is that we have no ultimate control. The fact is that even though we don't want to die, we will. The fact is that even though we don't want things to change, they will. There is great certainty to the uncertainty of our lives. The greatest illusion is to think that we are in control and that we are making things happen. The more we fight against this reality, the more miserable we'll become. The Taoists are really on to something when they talk about going with the flow of existence.
We can't fight change and we can't change that which is out of our control. Even the election of Obama proved that things are constantly changing. George W. Bush couldn't remain as the President of the United States forever. It may have seemed like a long time to some people (and not long enough for others), but the fact is things changed.
When we are surrendered to God (Krishna) we are not anxious about the uncertainty of our lives. We are not concerned about trying to control things. We are not concerned about the changes that will come. There is an inner calm, an inner peace and an inner knowingness that Krishna is there and protecting us. When we are truly calm and quiet in our minds and existing in the present moment we can feel that presence. But in order to get to that state of mind, we have to let go. And as rebellious souls, we don't want to let go.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
